The following in its original form can be found here.  All I have done below is to add comment regarding how the list relates to me.

25 Best Habits to Have in Life
If you are committed to happiness and success, work these into your daily routine.


We are creatures of habit. Everything we think, say and do is a result of deep-seated habits etched into our minds through years and years of repetitious behavior. Those very same habits either help to propel us forward or to hinder our progress in life. In fact, the state and quality of our lives right now is a direct reflection of our daily habits.

Habits are an undeniably powerful part of life. They’re an integral part of the underlying behavioral psychology that shapes the direction of our lives. They’re so integral that a study determined that approximately 45 percent of everything we do on a daily basis is driven by our habits.

Parting ways with our bad habits and replacing them with good habits is by no means a simple task. It takes commitment, willpower and an unwavering desire to overcome our seemingly natural tendencies to think, feel, speak and act in a certain way.

Agree in the main. Commitment and willpower are super strengths I would love to have. Unwavering desire to overcome natural tendencies. Hmmmm would not put it that way. More a desire to control, chose or direct how I think feel speak and act in specific circumstances. Unwavering waivers I am afraid with a whatever tide is dominant.

Clearly, for those absolutely committed to things like happiness and success, habits offer the pathway to enrichment in life. They’re also the tools we use to help automate our progress towards one end or another, assisting us with the achievement of our goals and the fulfillment of our dreams.

Still, for the most part, we’re often left in the dark. We’re unsure of ourselves or where to start on the road to developing good habits. What are the best habits to have in your life when you want to succeed or be happy? Are there some that usurp others, providing some secret magical recipe for achieving life’s loftiest goals?

What are the best habits to have in life?

While any list of habits concocted might seem subjective, there are, in fact, 25 particular habits that will not only help you to succeed, financially speaking, but will also keep you healthy, happy and fulfilled in life. Focus on these 25 habits, consistently making efforts to instill them into your daily routine, and in time, your progress and momentum towards your goals will skyrocket.

1. Wake up early.
The early morning hours are a time for peaceful reflection and ample productivity, where the world is still and asleep, allowing you to focus wholeheartedly on your long-term goals. Anyone who is serious about success in any measure knows that it’s important to wake up early.

Even if you’re not a morning person, use incremental changes in your daily routine to start waking up earlier and earlier. Begin by setting your alarm clock back by 15 minutes the first week, 15 minutes the next week and so on. Do this until you can wake up at least two hours earlier than you’re waking up now.


Sounds nice. Sleep is also important in fact vital. Not a habit I wish to foster. Studies also show different personalities function better at different times. I am more an owl than a cockerel.

2. Gratitude.

We spend a great deal of time immersed in our problems. But problems are also a sign of life. The only time we’ll lack problems is when we’re six feet under. And if you want to shift your focus away from your problems, you have to be grateful for what you have. Yes, even for your problems.

Gratitude is the surest pathway to health, happiness, and success. It shifts our attention towards what we have rather than what we don’t have. It’s the natural abundance of simple pleasures and opportunities that we’ve been afforded with and blessed with that we often take for granted.


Restated as “count your blessings” Nice homily. Implies gratitude towards something gratitude to because of gratitude for. I prefer just a habit of reminding oneself to be positive. no need for higher power

3. Smile.

Studies have confirmed that people who smile a genuine smile (also referred to as a Duchenne smile) are happier in life. This is one of the best habits for allowing you to find emotional, mental and spiritual peace-of-mind over time — simply by placing a smile on your face.

The physiology of our bodies dictates the psychology of our minds. When we frown or slouch or do any number of other things that convey a sense of depression and unhappiness, our mind takes those cues and runs with them. However, once we shift our outward appearance by consciously adjusting ourselves, our inward feelings follow.


Agree However contradictory here with Duchenne smile. A genuine smile comes from a genuine overflow of happiness which is often spontaneous. But smiling when one is not feeling one’s best does slowly start to lifts one’s spirits and may evoke genuine happiness in oneself. Point is it’s consciously forced in the first instance and that’s ok. Another important point not acknowledged is that it positively influences those around you, consciously and subconsciously.
Many moons ago I was in Fiji for a month. Returning to NZ I became aware of people staring at me in the street. I realized I was smiling and nodding acknowledgment to them as I passed. A habit I had unconsciously picked up in Fiji.

4. Eat a healthy breakfast.

Breakfast is an important part of life. Yet, 31 million Americans skip breakfast every single day. And that saying you’ve heard your entire life about breakfast being the most important meal of the day? It’s 100 percent true. If you’re serious about success, eat a healthy breakfast every single morning.

This single habit doesn’t take much effort. Some planning is certainly required, and if you’re rushing out the door every morning with barely any time to spare, you might want to consider waking up earlier to ensure that you wield this habit in your own life.


Agree. But where do they get these stats from 31 million really? And 100% true isn’t something true or not, it’s an absolute value. Still. That was me in my youth in my senility I try for a bowl of porridge.

5. Exercise.

One of the absolute best habits to have in life is to exercise every single day without fail. This isn’t about heavy weight lifting or running a marathon. This is about doing lightly strenuous activity to oxygenate your blood and boost the endorphins in your body.

Not only will you feel physically better when you start this habit, but you’ll also feel more motivated, have more mental clarity and be more emotionally sound. Exercise releases dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin into the system, giving an almost euphoric effect without the usage of any drugs whatsoever.


Agree. I struggle with this. No to be fair, I consider, agree and go off to find something else, swearing I will attend to this later. Deeper than lazy it’s more like an aversion. Its the habit I probably most need to adopt.

6. Drink water with lemon.

One habit that has monumental health benefits is to drink a large glass of water with lemon every single day. Lemons are a natural source of Vitamin C, but also possess other health benefits — such as helping with your digestion, boosting your immune system, along with cleansing and re-hydrating your body.

The water itself is also an important way to flush any toxins from your system early on in the morning when you first arise. Ultimately, over time, this will also aid with things like weight loss, a reduction in any inflammations and an overall boost in energy.


Can’t say it achieved a status of habit but I do work at this one minus the lemon. Like the idea of lemon. I buy now and then and find few uses for throwing out half my purchase later on. This would reduce the waste.

7. Walk 10,000 steps.

Most people have heard about the benefits of walking at least 10,000 steps in a day. Yet, as a society, we tend to fall far short of that goal. One study, which provided shocking results of just how many steps we do take, compared that number to countries from around the world by studying participants from the U.S., Switzerland, Australia, and Japan.

Americans, on average, take 5,117 steps a day. Compared to Australians, who take 9,695 steps per day, and residents of Switzerland, who take 9,650 steps per day, and those of Japan, who take 7,168 steps per day — we fall way short.  Still, this single habit is a great way to resolve our sedentary ways. Park farther from the office or take the stairs when you can to help boost your daily steps.


Again what’s with the stats? Still point made. Another should but don’t probably the form of exercise I could adopt easily and really have very few excuses for avoiding other than weather. A priority if I admit.


8. Vitamins and minerals.

As a culture, we lack the necessary vitamins and minerals through our food intake. Processed and refined sugars, carbohydrates and other foods that are a staple of the American diet help to exacerbate this problem. We simply don’t get the proper nutrients our bodies need on a daily basis.

Find a good set of vitamins and minerals that you can take every day. It’s easy to ignore this healthy habit, but the feeling after weeks and months of doing this on a regular basis is tremendous. That impact can help us to improve other areas of our lives by providing mental, emotional and physical clarity.


Don’t agree. The issue is diet. Scientific proof that mineral and vitamin intake better through what we eat. But there are circumstances and some evidence that additional supplements could have benefit. Needs research


9. Effective time management.

An essential habit for succeeding at anything in life is effective time management. How well you manage the precious little time you have says a lot about what you can achieve. And considering that we all have the same amount of time in this world, how you leverage this resource will dictate your potential for success.

Find a good system for managing your time and implement it. This isn’t complex to do, but does require conscious and consistent effort. However, once this habit has been solidified into your daily routine, virtually anything is possible, and no goal will be too big to attain.


Agree. First though is making value judgments and prioritizing and then allocating time. For me, I am incorrigibly distractible. I am a bee or a butterfly flitting from one source of pollen to another. So this process including time management is a necessity and a habit I need to acquire.


10. Daily goal setting.

Most people have goals. Whether it’s something to achieve in business or in life, we’re all moving in one intended direction or another. However, while long-term goals do give us direction, it’s the daily goals that we set that allow us to create short-term milestones that are integral to our success.

Long-term goals can seem overwhelming even in the best of times. But by implementing a daily goal-setting strategy, you can overcome some of the enormity associated with achieving big things in life by focusing on the one-day-at-time, short-term scenarios.


See above comment. Agree. A habit I need to acquire.


11. Inspire yourself.

It’s often difficult to stay motivated for any considerable amount of time. We get discouraged and dissuaded from our goals when things arise in life that sends us on a tangent and veers us off track. But one of the absolute best ways you can stay motivated in life is to inspire yourself on a daily basis.

Read, watch inspirational videos and get inspired by stories of others who have achieved their dreams. Anthony Robbins calls this your “hour of power,” but you can spend as much or as little time on this as you need. Inspiration is the pathway to achievement because what the mind can conceive, it can achieve.


Agree but who’s got time to watch others doing it. What’s better, watching others have sex or doing it yourself.


12. Save and invest.

No good habit list is complete without one that calls for saving and investing. We often overlook the necessity to save for the future because we’re so busy living in the present moment. The truth is that most Americans have less than $1,000 saved up at any given moment.

But it’s not just about saving. You have to invest the money that you save and do so wisely. The more attention you pay to this now, the more your life will be replete with financial success in the future. You should also be sure to have at least six months worth of savings in your account to stave off any potential financial calamity in the future.



Makes sense were one able to afford this habit.


13. Budget and track expenses.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Beware of little expenses, a small leak will sink a great ship.” It’s easy to lose sight of little expenses, but they add up, especially when we fail to budget. Be sure to manage all of your expenses, and sweat the small stuff, so to speak.

When it comes to sound financial habits, this is an important one to have, and one that will lend itself to your future financial success. The money saved on frivolous or extraneous expenses can be saved and invested for your future. Don’t ignore the future for sake of reveling in the present moment.



Probably good sense just not me.


14. Learn something new.

Educate yourself, and learn something new every single day. Commit to learning and improving your life, whether it’s by acquiring new skills or enhancing the existing skills you already have. From foreign languages to software programs and apps, you should carve out a small amount of time every single day to dedicate to this habit.

Whether you decide to learn something new through an online course, an audio book, a blog post, a video tutorial on YouTube, or even through TED Talks or other means, the importance of implementing this habit is paramount. Find something that’s worthwhile learning and do just a little bit of it every single day.


This one possibly borderlines on being a habit. Certainly feel it’s important to me.


15. Organize.

Physical clutter results in a loss of focus. When our lives are disorganized and in a state of disarray, it’s hard to stay focused on our goals. Take the time to organize your home and office, and do just a little each day to enforce this habit. Take a single drawer and organize it, or organize a solitary corner of your home or even a cabinet in your office.

The importance of this habit is highlighted by a study in the Journal of Neuroscience titled, “Interactions of top-down and bottom-up mechanisms in human visual cortex,” which says “Multiple stimuli present in the visual field at the same time compete for neural representation by mutually suppressing their evoked activity throughout visual cortex.” In plain English — clutter lends itself to a major loss of focus.


Yes well. I try but what about the Second Law of Thermodynamics!. Love that second paragraph. I have an answer. Created a drawer labeled “Focus” now despite whatever happens I know where my focus is.


16. Contribute to others.

In our quest to achieve and succeed, we often forget about others. We fail to contribute something of value to our fellow man, woman or child. This isn’t about donating money; this is about contributing your time, which is far more valuable than money. It also helps to shift your focus from a state of lack to a state of abundance.

We tend to spend too much of our time steeped in worry and anxiety. But, when you enlist the habit of contributing to others, you can easily alleviate your personal concerns, and even your problems, by realizing the necessity of helping others. In fact, it’s the people in this world that contribute the most value to others that end up achieving the greatest success.


Agree in principle. Being honest how many of this list can one adopt. A question of time etc but I think where and when the opportunity arises.


17. Network.

Clearly, it’s not just about what you know in this world. In order to succeed, we need to reach out to others — who you know is extremely important. But networking isn’t just about dropping names; it’s about finding ways that you can help and add value to the lives of others.

The best networkers in the world are also some of the most successful individuals. But they didn’t focus entirely on themselves at the outset. They always looked for ways that they could help others without thinking about receiving something in return. That’s how the world’s best networkers are born.


Not high on my list Reminds me of my youth and the Round Table being seen to network and do good deeds but underlying was the benefit for business


18. Break through fears.

We spend a lot of time immersed in fear. Those doomsday what-if scenarios play out in our minds throughout the course of any given day. We’re so worried and nervous about the future that we forget to enjoy the present moment. It’s so ingrained in our minds to fear things that it stifles our progress.

Breaking through your fears is quite possibly one of the most important habits that you could develop. Get used to doing one thing that makes you feel uncomfortable each and every single day. Talk to a stranger, give someone a compliment, or tell someone the truth about something that makes you feel uncomfortable.



“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune


19. Take action.

Take action. It’s a cliche that we’ve all heard repeatedly, yet it’s something that many of us fail to do. In fact, we do just the opposite — we procrastinate. We fail to take action for whatever number of reasons, hindering our progress and ability to achieve any of the monumental goals we set for ourselves.

The best way to overcome procrastination is to use the 15-minute rule. Take whatever it is that you’ve been putting off for the longest, set a timer on your phone for 15 minutes, and only commit to doing it for that long. Why only 15 minutes? First, it breaks the cycle of inaction. Second, after 15 minutes, you’ve built some momentum, so you might just keep on going.


Big one. Procrastination!!!!!. Looks like a plan.


20. Follow a plan.

Having a plan is integral to every successful entrepreneur — and person — throughout history. Whatever it is that you want out of life, not only do you need long-term goals and daily goals to help conceive, but you need to follow an intricate and detailed plan that you create along the way.

Without a plan, we often fail to realize our goals. Without understanding how we’ll get from point A to point B, it’s hard to see the cliched forest through the trees. But when you stick to a plan and track your progress, making changes along the way, you can eventually reach your goals as long as you don’t give up.


Important but not to fall into the trap of planning for planning to plan; result in no doing!


21. Enjoy “me” time.

One of the habits that most of us fail to implement in our lives is to enjoy some down time — or “me” time. Do one small thing that you love doing every single day. It’s not always about achievement and success. By doing one small thing that you love, you’re actually instilling peace of mind and re-focusing your center.

Whether you listen to your favorite music pumping through headphones, take a walk through the park, go for a drive along your favorite road, watch a movie, or anything else for that matter, be sure that you always carve out some time for yourself in the day.


Seems to me if can make this one of the more rewarding tasks activities from this list then on to a winner. Whatever it’s important.



22. Implement positive thinking.

Like attracts like. When we think negatively, harboring negative thoughts, we attract negative things into our lives. When we think positive, we attract positive things. It’s hard to stay positive all the time, and it’s often our natural tendency to think negatively about things.

However, positive thinking is one of the surest pathways to the achievement of your goals. Ignore the naysayers and the people who doubt your abilities, and pursue the things that you love, staying positive all the while. It’s purely a matter of momentum. Think positively for long enough, and good things begin happening.


Important. Really needs a habit of mindfulness being aware letting go of the negative


23. Read.

Whether you read the newspaper, financial news, a novel, a non-fiction book, or anything else, find time to read something. Reading is an important habit to develop in life, and you shouldn’t rely on audiobooks or movies all the time. Good old-fashioned reading, the traditional non-screen way, does the trick.

Reading can help you uncover new worlds, ideas or ways of doing things that you might not have known about before. It’s also a great way to educate yourself or entertain yourself at any given moment.


This one I ace!!!!!!


24. Get ample rest.

Although it’s important to wake up early every day, it’s also imperative to get ample rest. Finding that delicate balance might be difficult, especially if you have kids, two jobs and other obligations. However, if you care enough about your physical well-being, along with your future success, you’ll focus on a minimum of six to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

If you have trouble falling asleep, be wary not to drink coffee or alcohol too close to your bedtime. Also, if you smoke, eat too much sugar, or ingest any other type of toxins throughout the day, you’ll find it difficult getting to bed at a decent hour. Cut those out of your routine so you can get some ample rest at night.


Makes Sense


25. Journal your thoughts.

Journaling your thoughts is a great way to reflect on who you are and what you’ve been doing in life. Time can go by so quickly that we often forget the details of what we did even a few short months ago. Those details are often novel to recall as it adds clarity and purpose to our lives, reminding us of life’s lessons and joys.

Get in the habit of writing out your thoughts and journaling your experiences on a daily basis. Intertwine it with your goals, hopes, and dreams for the future, writing out what you envision your life will look like down the road, then come back to read it, later on, to get a window into your mind at any point in your life. This is a powerful method for self-reflection, and also a great way to motivate and inspire yourself going forward into the future.


Definitely, something I want to become habitual. Important way of examining what habits have become fixed need work. Not all are important all the time and perhaps need prioritizing differently at different times.


Getting started.

How many of the habits above have you already worked into your life? Are there bad habits that seem to continue holding you back from achieving any semblance of success and happiness? Bad habits can get in the way of our progress and quitting them is not easy by any means. However, it’s all a matter of momentum. It all boils down to small incremental steps that you can take day in and day out to help you build up the right repertoire of habits to help you achieve whatever your heart desires. The habits above are some of the best habits to have in life. How many of them will you agree and commit to taking on today?



Memory as Epitaph

“Unfortunately I have some sad news Leon Reedjik suffered a massive heart attack on Tuesday and has been in Wgtn ICU since. He was deprived of oxygen for 37 minutes the result of which was severe damaged to vital organs which has been supported by scans. The family has decided to turn off the life support in the morning. Would like to offer our support and condolences. End of a hairy era!”

Woke up to this on my Facebook.
Leon was one of the “Laketowners” together with myself on the set of the Hobbit movies. Giant of a man. Big full natural beard. Friendly and gentle. A common purpose bonded us Laketowners. Maybe 80 of us. Not all of us there on set at the same time or called in on the same days. But many of us spent a considerable number of hours, sitting around, eating great meals, sitting around, being moved to sit around somewhere else, standing around on set, waiting, eventually standing around on set with a purpose ordained by the director, joy of joys, running around or being allowed to be animated, sometimes under lights so hot we had to have ice packs pushed down our costumes. Jostling to get to the crew member carrying water in order to be handed a plastic cup of precious water between takes. All this for maybe 10 plus hours a day. For acquaintances sharing a common purpose most of us got to know each other comfortably well. Genuinely enjoying our time together.
I remember Leon as that friendly uncomplicated gentle giant. Sitting on the set of Laketown the canal wharf to our side the medieval buildings of Laketown in front, the towering wall of the studio draped in green screen, wind machines, lights scaffolding and more lights; Leon and I waiting for the next shot to be set. Likely to be off camera but giving ourselves a role to pass the time. We salvaged a stone jar of rather quaffable Elvish wine which we shared, enjoyed and made merry with. Eventually, there was a call of “action” we continued to pass the jug.
Won’t find that scene anywhere but in my memory now.18767622_1693708213973482_8672077541577661352_n

“The proper, wise balancing
of one’s whole life may depend upon the
feasibility of a cup of tea at an unusual hour.”
― Arnold Bennett, How to Live on 24 Hours a Day

or I may add the occasional jug of wine.

It was 50 years ago today

Celebration of the release 50 years ago. Putting aside the actual release date [world wide it was 1 June 1967]
Other records state rush release 26th May as had been “leaked” on radio. Pirate radio strong at the time apparently played on Radio London. I, however, heard it on Radio Luxemburg which was in a way the original pirate broadcasting from Europe but having all its DJ’s and music pre-recorded in London. The Pirates of course on old oil rigs or trawlers operating outside the 3-mile limit and therefore legal.

I could pick up my local Radio Caroline which operated from the Irish sea anytime day or night. But generally, the broadcast range was limited so night time in bed with my precious loved battery transistor radio, aerial extended, tuning carefully hair width by hair width and moving the transistor around the room to get the best reception. Oh, Bliss. Maybe because we had to work hard to connect to the burgeoning counterculture, the youth revolution, rock and roll [and in my case blues as well] the dawn of Tune In and Drop Out, maybe that’s why it’s carved into memory.

But it wasn’t Caroline it was Luxemburg. Not the transistor but the radiogram. Radio and turntable built into a substantial piece of furniture. The radio had the ability to tune into long wave and at its high end all sorts of marine and aircraft broadcasts. Medium wave which was where all the normal radio broadcasts were but with the right conditions one could pick up European broadcasts. Short wave in all sorts of bands which I swear you could tune into Jupiter with.
Must have had a big and good speaker as I never found the sound an issue. Mind you it was mono. Stereo equipment was just about available but like colour TV it was a way off being in everyone’s home.

Can’t remember the actual day but I seem to think the broadcast I heard was the night before, which would have made it the Thursday night. After 50 years I can’t remember when I actually got a copy in my hands. I like to think it was the next day after the release which would have been the Saturday.

Once home it was on the radiogram. I remember being engrossed in the cover. This wasn’t packaging this was an event in itself.
Commercial art, pop art. The front cover, all these people, none of them named but clearly famous, cultural icons. At 15 couldn’t know them all, but I went from face to face recognizing some being able to name others and reviewing again till names drifted up from my subconscious. Think it was the Sunday Times or the Sunday Observer in their colour supplements which eventually listed them all. It was a fold out cover. None of this single sleeve. There, the Fab Four in technicolor uniform, at once circus and so so cool.beatles-sgt-peppers-lonely-heart-club-band



Then there’s lyrics. A whole sheet of lyrics to prompt a sing-along.

AND the cardboard cut outs

And the flaming paper sleeve.


As for the music. Then it was truly remarkable. The Beatles were riding high. Yes, I know all the denials!
Despite all the fame and frustration, internal and external forces that would eventually fling them apart. They made the “studio” album as a defense and an answer to the critics, as proof of their talent.
It’s also a fun album in the main, swings along as if it is the eponymous band of one Sgt Pepper.
They [and I include Martin and the other engineers, but will not exclude the seemingly quieter members] created an album with new sound qualities new textures which even in mono I could hear on that first play. It was a risk. Even though it was the Beatles it was a risk. In the context of POP, it expanded the possibilities. For me it’s not a rock album yet in some ways it heralds the era of progressive rock that was to follow The tale is that within days of its release McCartney was in the audience watching Jimi Hendrix playing the title track. Sad no recording of that exists!

1967 The middle. 1966 sort of beginning 1968 an end to something that never quite made it out of the delivery suite.

Some of the comment I’ve heard today is a little dismissive of Sgt Pepper not being the Beatles best work. That may be true anyone’s best work in terms of songs or performances is bound to be spread across their published careers. The whole point was the album the idea of which is somewhat lost now in the age of Spotify and iTunes.

It was one of my first album buys somewhere in my first 3 or 5 and it influenced what I bought next that year.

What follows is a list of albums I bought that year. In what order exactly when I can’t say but that year. [Well late 1967 maybe sometime early 1968]















On Love

I make choices. I could say we make choices which are obvious really but I will stick with what I know as well as I can.
I made a choice to love, to love one particular human, one woman. All sorts of thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences get stirred up and mixed together till one says to oneself “I love” and then to risk saying to that special other “I love you”. There, at that point I have made a choice to love; have someone to love and to express that love. If one is favored then one gets loved back.

So there I am in love, maybe loved back or not. In many ways, reciprocity is not so important as it may seem. So far there’s an implication that I can choose not to be in love. I could make that statement. I’m left with all the thoughts, feelings, experiences and emotions to unravel. Historically I can’t deny them. I have to falsify them or devalue them wholly, completely in order to make my new choice not to love this particular person. A reality for me here and now; in the present.

A big chunk of all the above is dispassionate even though emotions are involved. Homo sapiens are not so simple. We have egos, in-built irrationalities,desires,cravings,beliefs,self-justifications etc. All of which can also become enmeshed in how I make the choice to be or not to be, or as in this case to am or not to am.

Growing older I have more opportunity more experience to undertake that first of all dictates “First Know Thy Self”.
Age should not allow me to fudge this.

I have been in love and chosen to be in love. Hormonally my adolescence through to early manhood was littered with one or two which to my detriment were silent. never voiced. Then later, as a young man it happened as above, was reciprocated, and marriage ensued. I was happy with my choice and in life.

So here enter other factors. We make other choices not directly about love but that can affect love. If those choices are made collectively then there shouldn’t be too much of a problem. But the sum of choices made can grow to clash and can appear to become greater or detrimental to that earlier choice to be in love. This happened to me [and her]. All the other choices we made were more important to each of us and for each of us, the choice to not be in love became actionable. We each in our own way falsified or denied till we could part with the least emotional hurt.

My decision not to love lasted a good long while. Busy making lots of other choices that I must have found self-fulfilling.

Whether I was available or not whether I acted to avoid situations, one is still likely to get bushwacked. I was and had to ask and make a choice. Made it said it and reciprocation ensued. Now eventually this situation became one of where the other initiated the choice not to be. Hard to accept ego etc but lots of the situation [ she was having an affair in love with someone else] enabled me to go through a process of denial and devaluing leading to being able to choose not to be in love.

We have I believe an integral need to love, to share; socially, culturally and biologically. So when we experience the shift from being loved to not being loved, for a while one crashes a bit, not in love just suffering withdrawal symptoms.

Next, I made a choice to commit rather than love. Here I am separating affection, endearment from love. Eventually, I made a decision to uncommit. Unraveling was easy. There was nothing to deny or falsify. Still some emotional flotsam and jetsom.

Found I made another choice to love. Based on history this felt like nothing before. Though I, of course, need to concede I could be deluding myself. But then perhaps that’s part of love part of the process a wonderful delusion. The metaphor of an addict raises itself again. Too much introspection not required or perhaps in this case completely unnecessary. The introspection of my youth kept me silent.
Never had so much joy being in love being able to love being able to receive love. Giving receiving sharing.
Fast forward to her decision not to be in love.
Sparked all the above introspection.

Thought about making the same statement and going through the process of devaluing falsifying denying.
Can’t actually in all truthfulness make the statement. Have to be true to myself and the fact I still feel love, am still in love. That makes the following process academic but still, I can’t, even as an experiment, imagine doing any of it.

So even if I disregard the choice I made, I am still in love with her. I am. I want to be. I will be.
No choice no decision. Hard but beautiful fact. Feels like its always been there and always will be. Terms we used. Soul Mates. Irrational Ridiculous Romantic Dream Delusional. Don’t care. Label away. What is is what is.
What is is that……
I know now I can say what it means to love, to be in love, with a confidence, a conviction, not in a belief, but in a fact as physical and hard and clear as a diamond and yet at the same time as ephemeral as starlight.

First and Last Post

This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.

Echos of the Bugle drift down time. There will be always be a Reville followed by a Last Post 

However given my erratic nature when it comes to commitment [ I excel at inconsistency] There may be many revolutions of the earth between one or the other. So at any one time this may be the first or the last post. Just an explanation in case of curiousity.